crash course parenting: mommy image

This topic has been on my mind.  A lot.  I never knew how bad the ideal "Mommy Image" was, until I had a babes of my own.  And it has been tough.   Now, when I say "Mommy Image,"  I mean more than just the absurd expectations society has for mom's body during and after pregnancy.  To me, this also includes how women interact with their children, what amazing things they do each and every day to prove they are totally awesome moms as well as how well they keep the house in order.   My crash course parenting lesson with Mommy Image is that it is a load of crap what society, Pinterest and other mom's expect of moms.  Going back to what I mentioned in the Milestones post, why does this have to be a competition?

Body image
It breaks my heart when I talk to a friend, acquaintance or stranger (well, I more overhear them...or silently fume when I see a celebrity getting harassed for gaining so much weight while pregnant in a gossip magazine) and they are stressing so much about staying super slim while pregnant and then almost obsessing over getting back to pre-pregnancy size the minute the baby is out.  Ladies.  This needs to stop.  We need to gain weight for our babies and keep some of that storage to nurture them once they are out.  The body changes with pregnancy.  It is supposed to!  Throw the idea that we have to stay skinny the whole time and then have a flat stomach within 3 months of having the kid.  Society is smoking something that makes them dumb for putting this expectation on people.   Don't get me wrong, it is important to stay fit, but there is a difference between staying fit and obsessing over perfection, whatever that really is.  Embrace the new body that created a life, sustains life and accomplished one of the most mind blowing feats man has ever witnessed.

My good friend who is a dietician wrote a great post about weight gain during pregnancy.  You can find it here:

Pregorexia, Paige Smathers

Super Mom
Oye vey.  I stressed so much about interacting with Spud every minute of every day and felt major guilt if I did not.  I felt I was less of a mother because I did not have these amazing activities planned for everyday.  Let's face it, some days the fact that everyone is alive, fed and relatively happy throughout the day is success enough.  I have a love/hate relationship with Pinterest for this reason.  I get super annoyed now whenever I see Pins about these awesome activities or "Potty train your child in 3 days," or "Get your baby to sleep through the night by 12 weeks."  People, these are not good.  First, every child is different.  Every mom is different.  Every situation is different.  I had to learn to let go of trying to be a mom I was not and realize that Luke needs me to be the mom he needs, not the mom I felt the world was pressuring me to be.

Super Mom 2
Going along with having everyday planned to the T with educational activities that create the perfect child, I felt pressure to have my house in perfect order with perfectly planned meals throughout the day.  Again, there are some days where I feel accomplished if we are all alive and well at the end of the day.  Before I came to peace with the fact that it is okay for the house to be dusty or have a sink full of dishes,  or have mismatched curtains because I just flat ran out of steam to make the other two, I felt conflicted.  Conflicted because I was supposed to be this super involved mom while having the house spick 'n span WHILE making amazing meals 5 times a day....See the conflict?  It took an internal implosion of exhaustion for me to finally let go of this one.  A clean house is important to me, but I am okay with a little clutter now because that means that I kept my sanity, Luke got some mom time on the floor, surrounded by books or even just throwing blankets on his head....life is a lot more peaceful now.

This is entertainment most days this summer...

My biggest tip for moms, be the mom you and your family need, not what the the world says you should be.  Society has unattainable expectations which leads to us moms feeling unfit, ugly, lazy or like we are failing.  I promise.  We are not.  I try each day to start with a prayer, asking God to help me be the mom Luke needs me to be and that is what I go with throughout the day.